MOMENTS

 Having an accident is like having that “wake-upper” when you are slacking off in life. It placed me in a reflective frame of mind; made me ask these questions and prompted me to give my opinions.

Why is it that there are moments when you are being careful and nice all over…yet still something bad happens to you? Why are there moments when all things seem too good to be true then moments that seem to make your world crumble? Why are there days that the movie ‘Lemony Snicket's A Series of Unfortunate Events’ seem to come to life? It is easy to remember what’s good, yes; but it is so hard to deal with what’s bad!

Perhaps things happen to us like when we encounter accidents because we are sinning and yet not repenting as soon as we know of it. Or maybe we are ordered to finish a mission yet we do not get around to doing it. It could be a whole host of reasons:

Ø  We declare faith in God but still we doubt

Ø  We’re too proud of ourselves

Ø  We’ve been negligent that we made others suffer

Ø  Selfishness ate us

Ø  Greed and envy gobbled us

 What’s the result? When problems and issues engulf us, we become overwhelmed. We have life situations when we are provoked to get back at, avenge, make someone suffer because they did us, or simply badmouth others because our hearts are filled with envy. These are times we are mired in darkness, when our boat is sinking.

David Peach of 5 Great Bible stories about Jesus for kids in www.whatchristianswanttoknow.com/ sums up about ‘Jesus Calms the Storm’ – Mark 4:35-40.

He wrote, “Jesus and the disciples were crossing the Sea of Galilee in a boat one evening when a violent storm appeared. The ship was filled with water and the disciples were afraid of sinking. They found Jesus was sleeping in the back of the boat. They woke Him up. But they thought He was sleeping because He did not care whether they lived or died.

When Jesus woke up He stood and told the sea to be calm. Immediately the wind and waves calmed down. The disciples were now scared for a different reason. They did not really know who Jesus was at this time. This was shortly after many of them joined Jesus as His followers. They did not understand that Jesus was God’s Son and could control everything in the world if He chooses.”

Last song syndrome…you know that when you hear people around you sing a tune out of the blue.

I’ll tell you frankly that I find this song corny at first. It was like saying ‘kabaduy naman ng kantang ito’ when radio stations blast it off. But then, I was being shallow. I was only looking at the surface. The real gem here is the message of the song, the meaningful lyrics. You may not like the tune at all but I highly encourage you to reflect on the lines.

It is us people that represent that very song. No one is spared. All that’s written is true.

Lyrics of Lord Patawad – performed by Bassilyo {Lord Pardon}

Kinakausap lang Kita kapag ako’y nangangailangan
Baka may kakilala Ka na pwede kong utangan
Kasi alam Mo na sa tong-its talo ako
Pwede bang bigyan ako kahit anim na numero?

Kinakausap lang Kita kapag ako’y nangangailangan
Sana’y may artista na maka-date man lamang
Okay lang sa akin kahit na si Joyce Jimenez
Sana ako’y pumogi, pumuti at maging flawless

Kinakausap lang Kita kapag nangangailangan
Noong ako’y binasted ng aking nililigawan
Problemado po ako at wala ‘kong pang-inom
ang hina ko Sa’yo, yun ang hinala ko noon

Kinakausap lang Kita kapag ako’y nangangailangan
Ang aking iniisip ay puro pang-sarili lamang
kapag may mabigat na problema at seryoso
Doon ko lamang naaalala ang pangalan Mo

CHORUS
Lord, patawad
Pagkat ako’y makasalanan
Makasalanang nilalang
Lord, patawad
Pagkat ako’y makasalanan
Makasalanang nilalang

Ako’y nagsisimba kapag gusto ko lang
‘Pag may bagong damit na ipagyayabang
‘Pag may bagong biling mahal na pabango
Kapag bago ang shoes o kaya ang relo

Ako’y nagsisimba kapag gusto ko lang
Pag may jowa akong makakalampungan
Kapag may mga bebot na ang gaganda
Kapag merong baklitang nakakatawa

Ako’y nagsisimba kapag gusto ko lang
‘Pag andyan ang tropa’t nagkayayaan
hahanap ako ng mapagtitripan
Pagkatapos ng misa ay aabangan

CHORUS
Lord, patawad
Pagkat ako’y makasalanan
Makasalanang nilalang
Lord, patawad
Pagkat ako’y makasalanan
Makasalanang nilalang

Akala ko dati ay kaya ko na
Kaya ko nang mabuhay mag-isa
Ang daming trabaho, babae’t pera
‘Pag ako’y sagana ‘di Kita kilala

Naalala Kita noong ako’y nakulong
Parang bubuyog, bulong ng bulong
‘Pag may kamalasan sa ‘king na nangyari
Ikaw lang nang Ikaw aking sinisisi

Kapag merong debate, sinong magaling?
Sinong matuwid sino ang nagsinungaling?
Ako’y naiiling at mistulang santol
‘Di man lamang Kita kaya na ipagtanggol

SINOSOLO KO LANG ANG BIGAY MONG BLESSING!
‘Pag kumanta ako dapat ay bayad din
Bakit nga ba Sa’yo ay wala akong time
Pa’no kung Ikaw na ang mawalan sa akin ng time?

Lord, patawad
Lo-o-o-o,o-o-o
Lord…

Lord, Lord, Lord, patawad
Lo-o-o-o,o-o-o
Lord…

Sa puso ko’y lagi Siyang kumakatok
‘Di ko binuksan, ‘di ko pinapasok
Tuktok ng bundok na Kanyang inakyat
Tignan ko pa lang ako ay nilagnat

Dapat ako ang ipako sa cross
Dapat ako ay siyang nanlilimos
Nag-awad ng tawad sa ating Ama
Ngunit masama pa ang pinadama

Dadadadadadadadadada
Puro ako salita at dada
Sa biyaya ako’y naaatat
Pero kahit kailan ‘di nagpasalamat

Nagduda ako sa kakayahan Mo
‘Di ako nararapat Sa’yo
Masyado akong mapagmalaki
Pero kahit kailan, hindi Ka nag-higanti

Lo-ord, patawad
Lo-o-o-o,o-o-o
Lord…
Pagkat ako’y makasalanan
Makasalanang nilalang

Lord, Lord, Lord, patawad
Lo-o-o-o,o-o-o
Lord…
Pagkat ako’y makasalanan
Makasalanang nilalang

After forgiveness, no one can assure that a human could change for the good permanently because he is bound to fluctuate from good to bad. It all depends on our circumstances: our moods, our hormones, the people, places and events around us. There is one statute that can never be bent, though: like begets like; kindness breeds kindness. If joy and goodness is your primary aim, do lots of it and it will come back to you in multitudes.

Don’t equate. Don’t count. Don’t expect more than you deserve and don’t make it as an objective when you help someone. For no reason at all, just do GOODNESS. Yes, not all that we do good to will return the favor to us; just do well anyway. Also, not all of our good intentions would yield good results to others: sometimes we are even put in a bad light. As long as your objective is for goodness’ sake, you are not in the wrong foot.

Blessings will be placed in your glory. Have the patience to wait. If you get impatient, pray and ask God to clear your mind. Ask for strength when you weaken. Acknowledge the fact that you’re losing faith in yourself and maybe even Him, and immediately ask Him to fill that caving devotion.

I have a multitude of ongoing issues. The morning fender accident on August 15, 2013 was just so minor it is a minute concern compared to what shocked me in the afternoon. More when I’m ready to open up…and when I can distill the lessons from it all.

Father Jerry Orbos’ book “Just a Moment” washed my soiled faith. In the bottom portion of his August 19 entry, he wrote: “Lord, when I tend to magnify and amplify my pains, remind me that there are people around me who have bigger and more real pains. Amen”

The Story of Mika

Allow me to be the proverbial Granny Goose.

One Tuesday I had my due mani-and pedicure to be done at AdamDoor. The beautician that attended to me was Mika. I came in during the opening hour and so I was tended to promptly. It was customary for me to take a nap while I have procedures like this because then I will have to run to so many errands afterwards.

But this particular moment was meant for me to listen to someone’s heart and soul. Mika opened up first. “Mam, ilang taon ka na po?” To which I answered I’m 41. She was amazed that we’re of the same age but how she wished she looked fresher and younger like me. I won’t agree with the second adjective because people say I look older than my age. I am a career mom, after all. But I understood what Mika meant: she wished she looks less pitiable.

Then I asked her “Ilan ba ang anak mo?” To which she answered eight and chuckled. I exclaimed “Haaaa! Pero ang fit at trim mo at your age ha. Kakabilib.” I told her most women I know at forty with eight children are shapeless and a sorry-sight. She said “Kasi mam batak ako sa trabaho. Kailangang mabuhay walong anak eh” And my awe turned into greater respect. In the midst of buffing and coloring my nails, she started.

At age eighteen, Mika got pregnant with the first man of her life. They had two children and lived together happily at first. Because they were young, they ended up separated due to irreconcilable differences. At 22, she met a guy so kind and meek that he was so accepting of her two kids then and asked for her hand in marriage. They lived in joy together and she bore another two children. Her young spouse have a huge problem though: he was dying with a heart ailment. In their fifth year he suddenly said he doesn’t want to see her suffering much for him and so he begged that they leave him in peace with his parents. That’s how he loved her so much that he liked it best not to see her in anguish when he dies. Mika did not want it for she never minded taking care of him. But the man and his parents begged her and the children to please go.

Out of respect she left. When she was dying inside herself, she got stuck in her ancestral house in the boondocks. Then mystifying things happened. She was seeing a man but without a face who was wooing her and shows at her window every night. Then one day she found herself pregnant. Shocked as everyone was, Mika was the most shaken. Her pregnancy was paranormal as she claimed she cannot remember any time she had contact with someone. Then the baby scared her with its unusual movements she thought it was a monster. She did not think of abortion as an option and she simply gave birth. It was a life episode she cannot explain.

Her thirties came and she remarried with her latest beau. They had three children. All previous five had been half distributed by Mika’s parents and siblings. But the man was beating her and was having affairs explicitly and eventually, he left her. He was not giving financial support.

Now Mika strives for a living to support all her eight children. She felt no one was a curse and believes they’re all blessings. No matter how hard her life had been, she’s blissful that the children all love and respect her even half of them stay with grandparents and aunts. But on major vacations like sem break, summer and the Christmas holidays, they’re a tight pack in her tiny shack near AdamDoor. She has nothing to do with their fathers anymore but she’s got every breathe meant for their welfare.

This leaves me in wonder: why are mothers’ hearts so much bigger than them? I introspected and I said, if I were in her shoes I’d do the same. I’m no more or less than a mother like Mika. Then I asked “How was your child na bunga ng misteryo?” She is a girl.

“Haynaku mam! Hindi ko talaga maexplain hanggang ngayon pero siya po ang pinaka-mabait at napaka-matured mag isip sa lahat. Thirteen pa lang siya pero tingin naming lahat para siyang 30 sa pagkatao niya.”

There are mystiques in life that we cannot explain. When she was telling her story I even doubted if she had substance abuse, drugs or alcohol, or speculated if she has some sort of a psychiatric issue. That could be the episode in her life when she claimed an “engkanto” got her pregnant. Well, my theories may be right or wrong. After all, this is just the first time Mika opened up her bare soul; we’re practically strangers to one another. What do I know of her background? But one thing never changed: I still admire her for her choices in life.

The week immediately after that, she was very grateful to me for listening to her story. Mika claimed she didn’t know why she opened up to me about her story when she doesn’t talk about them to anyone, not even her close friends. She was afraid they would think of her as crazy. “Ewan ko po mam, basta nung nagkwento na ako sayo, ang gaan ng loob ko. Saka feeling ko, hindi mo ako pagtatawanan. Kaya maraming salamat talaga po”

I was the one more grateful, actually. Because a stranger opted to bare her heart and soul to me; I felt so honored. Perhaps Mika felt safe with her chronicle because she will never know when she might see me next. I’m not a blabbermouth though but I sure live with a tale to tell. Perhaps my purpose on earth is to extract the lessons from anyone’s story and share it to everyone so it will serve as our mirrors. We reflect, we deflect and we correct.

Isn’t it that’s what life is all about? We all learn from each others’ saga…

DISCLAIMER: Names are withheld for confidential reasons.